


Dudley Dursley's Rap

by hellpenguin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Rap Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-19
Updated: 2007-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-01 17:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellpenguin/pseuds/hellpenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am so, so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dudley Dursley's Rap

(spoken) Yo, Harry Potter. Yeah, uh-huh, that's right. Dudley-licious is here, Ghettofabulous in Little Whinging. Yeah, sendin this straight out to all my peeps and home-dogs!

So Harry Potter's got some skillz in magic  
and every1 knows his life's real tragic  
cause your parents died!  
and i know you've cried!  
i hear it every night  
though you've tried  
to hide  
under the covers, whinin' like a emo  
but I know  
where you go  
in summer with your pointy stick  
it makes me sick  
makes me want to kick  
your bony little ass to the street  
cause you're a freak

(spoken by hoochy muggle mamas) yeah, baby, say it again!  
A FREAK  
(spoken by scantily-clad hoochy muggle girls) oh, dudley, you're my man!

Standin' here in all my bling  
with my gang at my side, we'll wing  
it, sing it, say it again  
cause we're gangsta-licious  
here in Little Whinging!

uh! here we go!

So I told you already my name's Dudley  
I'm studly, i make little boys bloody,  
i'm the strongest muthafucka this side of London!

(insert terrible White Boy Beatboxing)

let me tell you a story bout a boy named Harry  
it's not that scary  
but i feel like sharin'  
little Harry got orphaned, stuck with lotsa gold, see,  
cause this badassmuthafucka by the name of Voldy-  
(chanted by muggle girls in torn shirts) Go Voldy, go Voldy!  
he got pissed with Harry's parents and waved a stick  
they were gone real quick  
but he weren't done with his schtick  
and he turned to Harry with a flash of green light  
and now little Harry ain't so bright  
he sucks in a fight  
he cries at night  
but that's quite all right  
cause he gives me some material  
so i'll be famous  
with this kickass rap  
you can't blame us  
or tame us,  
we're wild like that  
don't say i'm fat  
i'm just down like that  
now this rap is comin' to a stop  
just remember i'm Hot  
and i won't beat you up.  
(spoken) peace out, mofos.


End file.
